I don't understand as he presses his wound against my forearm, holds it there.
His eyes fix upward on mine, searching: “Can you feel that sting, Mom?”
Oh. I realize. He believes he can transfer the physical pain, share it by touching skin to skin…
And I so want to say: Yes! I do feel it exactly!
But even though I know what he is talking about, even though I deeply love and care, even though we share blood…I can only share his suffering so far.
I wish we could fuse minds and hearts…experience each other’s joy, pain, memories. Sometimes life feels so…solitary.
So much of our lives are experienced apart from other human beings, even the ones in our homes, beds.
Only God knows the exquisitely unique joy you felt when you realized you’d fallen in love for real...or the burn inside your heart, throat, when you were betrayed...the falling feeling when you heard the doctor's prognosis...your insides alight when the lightbulb went on in your mind and heart...my loneliness that day I ate my lunch hiding in the bathroom stall in high school.
And yet…it is enough. Creator and Created are in sync. We are never actually alone, even in our thoughts. The Created are fully known. The Created are fully loved.
The Created can touch wounds to our Maker’s heart: Feel that sting?
And He says: Yes. I feel it exactly.