She was 16-years-old and said it with a comical grin, referring to my dilemma over whether or not to feel obligated to patch a small hole in my favorite skirt. She’s a free spirit.
I have never been as free as I want/could/should/will be.
Her hair changes shape and color frequently. Her opinions are strong, independent and well-supported. She sees through people and things. She was intimidating to adults when she was only 14, though she was almost always laughing, smiling, and teasing.
She had no idea that such a small, impromptu comment would linger and replay in my mind over the years. She probably had some idea that I have never really believed it.
What I've really believed is: “I have to do a lot of things, and I can’t do just anything.”
I'm not talking about thoughtlessly following every impulse without concern for motives or how our choices affect others. I'm not saying it's a bad idea to seek wise counsel...on things that matter. In his book A Long Obedience in the Same Direction, Eugene Peterson writes:
"Freedom is the freedom to live as persons in love for the sake of God and neighbor..."
But good grief, we put a lot of silly expectations on ourselves (and others) that have nothing to do with love...or anything. We value things that have no value.
Apparently, I do not need to ask anyone's permission to wear that old skirt or to change my hair. In fact, no one really cares, not even my husband, who says: "I don't care if your hair is long or short as long as you stop talking about it."
You do not need your friends to agree with your choice in music or college or parenting style. Go ahead. Do your own thing.
I don’t even have to choose one approach to writing or one genre to work in or one way to interact with people.
I can be free to think my own thoughts without apology, make up my own mind and even CHANGE it later. We can be free to (gracefully) disagree with each other.
How great is that?
In her song, "Conversations," my friend Sara Groves sings,“The only thing that isn’t meaningless to me is Jesus Christ and the way He set me free…”.
Because of this, I can wear the skirt with the hole and leave it that way. Or fix it. Or toss it. I'm free to not think about it, to not waste a second worrying about what someone might think.
There are very few things that truly matter. Who I am is safely rooted in the fact that God loves me because He loves me. With all my holes and tears. As is. Since that's secure, I have nothing to prove, nothing to earn, nothing to lose.
Because we ARE free; we should act like free people. You don't HAVE to do anything, but you CAN do a lot of things.